If You are a Mom, You are Not Alone
One time, I received an email from an incredible momma of five children and she said...
"I think that there needs to be a shift in societal expectations.
After my 4th baby I really felt like I needed to give up my care, needs, wants for everyone else.
I remember people coming to visit in the hospital and everyone commenting on how tired my husband looked and asking after him.
My baby was in the nursery having her oxygen levels observed because they kept dropping. I remember quietly sneaking out of my room at night and slowly going to the nursery by myself to feed her because I felt that I needed to take care of everyone. How dare I let my husband get exhausted.
I have had my 5th child 7 months ago and I still struggle with guilt of not taking care of everyone else as well as I could pre new baby.
I appreciate your e-mail as I think I really need to fit me back into the schedule and I shouldn't feel bad about that.
Yesterday was a rough day so my husband took the children with him to a meeting at the church. After that hour of quiet I felt so calm and rejuvenated.
I have been struggling with anxiety and it makes me irritable, which I hate (Makes me feel like an awful person), but I didn't feel irritable after that hour. I felt calm and peaceful.
Perhaps I just need to make more time for taking care of myself. Time for more showers, time for doing more than just a ponytail in my hair, time for washing off my makeup at night, time for getting in exercise, time to have a few quiet minutes to myself, etc.
I have 4 daughters and I don't want them to feel like they suddenly don't matter when they become mothers. They matter and we matter!
My 8 year old recently asked me if it was hard to be a parent. You try to be strong, but I think she has seen me struggle and I think she needs to see a better example of what is okay even if society says that something else is what is expected.
I think it should be okay to say that you need more help and not quietly feel like a failure because you need more help and still try and do it by yourself anyways."
I don't think I need to add anything else to this blog except YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
Thank you for being apart of this amazing tribe. Feel free to respond to this blog, in the comments, if you have any stories or thoughts that could help other mommas feel a little less alone in this journey.
P.S., If you know a mom going through a similar experience, gift her a Postpartum Care Package.
First pregnancies can be scary and the fear of birth paralyzing.
Instead of taking action, you’re overwhelmed. You can only hope that your healthcare provider will make the best decisions for you.
I wish I’d been better prepared but I didn’t know what I didn’t know. I felt like birth was just one of those miserable experiences women have to push through and endure.
Now that I’m in my third trimester expecting my second baby, I’m choosing to embrace birth with intention.
What I’m doing differently this time around:
Choosing a Natural Birth:
This felt scary at first, but I want a redemptive and peaceful birth. One where I have the autonomy to move my body into positions that support my baby’s efforts to enter the world.
Instead of letting fear take over, I’m absorbing as much information as possible. I’ve consulted with my midwife to craft my ideal birth plan. I’m also watching birth videos to get more comfortable with the experience.
I’m seeing a chiropractor to help me align my hips and back to help make the birth experience be more comfortable. I made sure to look for a chiropractor who is certified in the Webster technique to help ensure my baby is in optimal position for labor.
Pelvic Floor Specialist:
My pelvic floor specialist and I are preparing my body for birth. We’re doing exercises to learn how to relax certain muscles during delivery, strengthen my pelvic floor, and improve my postpartum recovery.
Postpartum Skin Care Products:
This time I’m not using the postpartum skin care products provided by the hospital. I didn’t know better the first time. I didn’t realize how many questionable ingredients were in those products that did nothing to support my healing process. Instead, I’ll be using my own products like the Boob Balm, Herbal Relief Body Mist, Lavender Soaking Salts, and Revitalize Postpartum Cream which I believe are the best postpartum skincare products. All of them can be found in my Postpartum Care Package.
I combine the stretching technique with the Baby Cheeks Barrier Oil to reduce my chances of tearing. The oils help the skin to become more elastic and the stretching helps the skin become more flexible. It also teaches you to release tension during intensity and allow your body to expand.
I’m incorporating strength workouts to reduce the aches and pains I felt during my first pregnancy. By working out at least twice a week I have almost completely eliminated back pain, sciatic pain, and abdominal pinching. I have been doing the Bodi Barre Prenatal workouts and absolutely love them!!
Pregnancy hormones like Relaxin cause the skin to be less firm and often lead to stretch marks and cellulite. I have been strengthening my skin’s elasticity throughout pregnancy with our postpartum belly cream: the Revitalize Postpartum Cream. It contains Lupin extract that produces type I Collagen and increases skin elasticity and firmness. I have no stretch marks. The cellulite on my legs that I had at the beginning of my pregnancy has all but disappeared.
Strengthening My Faith:
Even though I’m doing everything in my power to prepare my body and mind for birth, there is still a whisper of fear in me. I’m strengthening my connection with God to replace that fear with faith. Believing in the knowledge that I was built for birth and that I can trust in Him for strength.
Preparing and planning for birth has felt like an extra full-time job. But, I feel so excited.
I hope this empowers you to decide and take charge of your baby’s birth and motherhood journey.
I'd love to hear what you've been doing to prepare for your birth? Comment below!