Becoming Unapologetically, Authentically You
I just wanted to share something that has been in my heart for the last few days...
There was a time that I struggled to be authentic in a world of filters and expectations of styled hair, painted nails, contoured makeup, trendy clothes, a fit figure, and tan skin.
As a previous marketing director, I felt pressure to look my best and meet these criteria.
I tried to meet societies expectations which caused me to disconnect from myself and feel unhappy.
I believe that the more we surround ourselves with these kinds of expectations the harder it is to maintain our inner authenticity. The kind of authenticity that lights our eyes, inspires our children, and lifts those around us.
This journey to help women find confidence in their raw beauty has allowed me to seek out the things that make me feel genuine.
These things include nourishing my body with wholesome foods, moving it in daily exercise, getting fresh air, as well as nurturing the outside of my body by diligently caring for my skin and hair.
As I do this, I reconnect with myself and I am able to unapologetically show up as a better mother, wife, and friend.
Start by nourishing your skin with fragrance free skincare so that you can feel confident and shed off the layers of makeup and photo filters.
I can’t even begin to tell you the freedom and joy it brings me to finally wear and appreciate my natural skin.
Now you can too! Lavender Meadows Co is a dedicated to providing skincare for sensitive skin and skincare that is safe for pregnancy.
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My Natural Home Birth Story
Monday 2:30pm 39 weeks 2 days. I was driving home from my midwife appointment. Everything was normal. I told the midwife that I would probably deliver a week or so after my due date (as I had been telling everyone). I even told my husband not to schedule time off until that time. I was trying to be practical since my first baby came late. Not to mention I had a huge list of things that needed to be done before I would feel “ready” for baby.
THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED. As I was driving I had this feeling that I needed to change the things I was telling my subconscious. I realized I was constantly telling the baby “you can’t come” “I’m not ready for you”. I was not surrounding him with feelings of safety and security. In that moment I put a hand to my belly and said “you can come anytime” “I will keep you safe and love you forever”. So cheesy I know 😅
Little did I know that that was all he needed. He was ready, my body was ready, and now I was mentally ready.
My mom was arriving Tuesday night and so I spent the day doing chores and trying to clean out the guest room. I had random contractions throughout the day but nothing that seemed like actual labor. About 7pm I was still cleaning but I had to stop and lean over the bed and sway through some contractions. Still in denial that anything was happening.
I was uncomfortable so I did my normal routine of taking a bath and drinking water which had made my false contractions go away in the past.
After 20 minutes of sitting in the bath, they started getting stronger. I had this strange discomfort in my lower back. My husband popped in and took one look at me and said “what are you doing?” I didn’t know how to respond because I knew he had work early the next day and I didn’t want to make a big deal if these were practice contractions. I texted my midwife just to let her know what was going on.
We decided to time them and after a while they started getting sporadic. Phew it was just false labor.
I decided to go over my birth plan with him, since I was planning a home birth. I told him it was just precautionary and that I probably wasn’t in labor.
We went to sleep around 9pm and I woke up about 10:30pm to strong menstrual like cramps that I couldn’t sleep through. I went to the bathroom and had a strong contraction. Ok yep this was labor.
Part 2
I woke up my husband and told him it was go time. He texted his boss and then got the room setup the way I wanted it. The contractions started getting intense and I asked for back counter pressure.
After a few contractions I threw up and this process continued for a couple hours. Whoa this isn’t fun I remember thinking. Was I seriously going to do this?
Hoping my husband would come through with words of support, love, and encouragement I turned to him and said you gotta talk to me. But being put on the spot is not his thing and he could not think of anything to say 🤣🤣🤣 however he rocked the back pressure and took good care of me for the next 12 hours.
Luckily I had been practicing the Bradley method where you bring yourself into a very relaxed state and also Christian hypnobirthing so that I could listen to spiritual, uplifting encouragement through my labor.
I got into a comfortable side position in bed with blankets and pillows surrounding me and I started my breathing technique and got into a deep state of relaxation.
We tried timing the contractions but it got distracting and they were all over the place. I decided to just try to relax and let my body do its job.
About 4am we timed again and contractions were 4-5 minutes apart. I texted the midwife to let her know. She asked when I wanted her to come. The thought of having any extra people distracting me right now did not seem pleasant. So I held off for a bit.
Tuesday 6:30am I had an intense contraction that I had to growl through and also a slight pushy sensation. My husband texted the midwife that we thought it was getting close.
7am ish the midwife and doula arrived and started setting up. I tried to focus on my hypnobirthing and relaxation techniques. I held perfectly still and loosed every muscle in my body.
Part 3
The back labor was very intense and I felt like I couldn’t survive if I didn’t have consistent back counter pressure.
9am After a while the midwife leaned beside the bad and asked if I would like to try to use the bathroom since I hadn’t gone for 8 hours or so. I looked at her and felt a twinge of fear at what might happen if I moved. I knew I would have a contraction along the way and I felt as if the baby might start coming out.
I declined with a “no.”
I knew I had to do it. The doula came over and began to fan me after another intense contraction that had me dripping in sweat. I said “I should go to the bathroom but I’m scared.” She validated my feelings and said just the things I needed to hear to motivate me to get up.
After a contraction I raced to the toilet hoping to be done and back before the next one came. But as I was sitting on the toilet I felt some relief and then voom a strong contraction and then my mucus plug was gone. I walked back to bed announcing “I lost my mucus plug” which was received with a knowing excitement 😆
Shortly after that my water broke. I didn’t expect it and my face was visibly shocked by the sensation. It was like someone popped my inflated belly. The midwife somehow cleaned it up within minutes without me moving and I continued my hypnobirthing.
At this point I knew things were about to get intense. I also had the feeling that this was it and there was no backing out now.
Part 4
The contractions changed. Before they came on very strong and then fizzled out but now they came on slow and built and built until they reached an intensity that you didn’t think you could survive and then it was gone. Brief moments to recollect, pray, search the depths of your soul for strength. I know it sounds dramatic but I’m telling this story as truthfully as I can.
It was crazy to me how quickly my body temperature would change. I felt the shakes come on after each contraction, at which point I would request tons of blankets so I could relax my muscles and not tense up. Then during a contraction I would get super hot and sweaty and the doula would come fan me which felt amazing.
One of the times she fanned me and I said “I can’t do this” but she gave me the full reassurance that I could. I knew I could.
At this point I was acutely aware of my baby. I could feel him moving down. Every so often I felt the urge during a contraction to squeeze and help him down. I didn’t understand these urges at the time since he was still a ways from coming out but once I found out that he was posterior it made more sense. Maybe he needed the extra momentum.
As he got closer and closer to making his entrance I couldn’t contain my voice any more. The intensity was something out of this world and I felt like I needed to deflect it somewhere. The doula put my hand on her forearm and I would push against her when the waves felt like they were overpowering me. I also let out sounds that I did not know I could make 😂
Part 5
11:30 AM It’s time. The contractions started strong and stayed strong. Once I could deflect that initial shock of the surge I could focus on the feeling of my baby and the midwife’s encouraging instructions. I knew from my pelvic floor therapy that side laying was one of my best positions to relax my pelvic floor. Luckily I didn’t have to move because every small movement sent pain up through my back.
I felt the baby’s head emerging and the midwife’s words “I see his head!” The next contraction I let out a yell and then heard the midwife reminding me to breathe baby down. I did not want to tear so I ignored the stretching sensation and slowly breathed the baby’s head down little by little with small squeezes every now and then to help him come down. I did this for probably 5 minutes. Waiting for each contraction to bring him further and further down.
After doing this a couple times his head was born and he let out one of his signature high pitched cry 🤣 instant joy and relief. He had the chord wrapped around him and he had some meconium so the midwife instructed me to push him completely out on the next contraction. I did and he was skillfully unwrapped and handed up into my arms.
I couldn’t believe that I just birthed a baby and that he was here in my arms. He was healthy and beautiful. I gained a lot of trust in myself and in God that day. I was reminded of his promise to always stand by me no matter what I would go through. I felt power and redemption in this birth.
I birthed with devotion and felt free of fear.
Doing a natural birth was important to me because I did not want my baby exposed to anything that could affect his health and development. My older son has serious neurological disabilities that were influenced by environment factors, so I am extra precautious.
This is also the passion behind my natural skincare company Lavender Meadows Co. I want moms to enjoy the benefits of effective skincare without having to worry about ingredient safety during pregnancy.
If you haven’t tried our skincare, I know you will love it! We use natural remedies that work as effectively (or better) than synthetic alternatives. They are also all made with pregnancy safe ingredients!
How Just 3 Steps Can Change Your Skin and Day for the Better
Some days test your patience…
I recently had one of those days. My son has little destructive moments that fill me up with MOM RAGE!
Just the other day he grabbed an entire dozen of fresh muffins and smashed them covering the floors and counter in chocolate and blueberry 😤
Part of me wanted to react, cry and scream. I’ve had enough experiences like this to know and accept that some things are out of my control – like my son’s mischievous behavior.
However, there are things a few things I can control and ground me. I have control over my mornings.
Starting every day with a simple skincare routine and fresh clothes makes me feel like I started my day on my terms. Knowing this helps me face the day with energy so I can navigate the unplanned moments with a little more patience and grace.
By incorporating these 3 products, I can put on my “I can do anything!” face - not matter what I am up against - which allows me to take on the day with a boost in confidence and feeling like I can control something during those out of control moments.
Just look at the difference 3 steps can make!
Products mentioned:
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Brightening Fruit Essence - incorporates fruit high in vitamin C to help your skin appear more even and toned
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Renewing Flower Serum - firms and smooths your skin
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Luminous Berry Oil - hydrates and gives your skin a warm glow
Remember, you have to feel love to give love. Give yourself some grace and have a moment in your day (even if small) that’s on your terms 💜
In Case You Needed A Reminder
Pregnancy transforms your skin—sometimes not in the way we would like it to.
Did the pregnancy glow also skip you?
When I welcomed my first son four years ago, my skin went through a rollercoaster. Breakouts, clogged pores, dry patches, uneven skin tone, wrinkles—you name it, my skin had it.
Blame it on the hormones, the stress, or the sleepless nights—whatever the culprit, my skin felt the strain. And, taking care of my skin? That felt like an impossible task. The thought of spending time on myself was daunting and sent a ping of guilt through my soul.
Sound familiar?
As moms, we’re wired to take care of everyone and put ourselves last. But here’s the thing: forgetting to check in with ourselves and our skin doesn’t just affect how we look, it affects our confidence too.
Fast forward to today.
Sure, I’m still stressed and sleep-deprived, but I look and feel better. And get this — even though I’m four years older, my skin looks younger. It’s firm, smooth, and glowy.
I still get the occasional pimple, but it heals way faster and the scarring doesn’t last.
At first, investing time in your skincare may feel selfish, like a sacrifice. But look at it as an investment in your well-being. You’re not only taking care of your skin, you’re doing something just for you when everything else is for your family. You deserve to feel free and confident in your skin. You’re worth the investment.
We created our Time to Repair Kit that focuses on facial skincare to help achieve that postpartum glow and navigate the skin changes you may be experiencing. It features these star ingredients that will combat acne, wrinkles and hyperpigmentation to help you or someone you love feel confident as a new momma:
- Bakuchiol: a natural alternative to Retinol that is gentle and soothing. Studies show that it improves hyperpigmentation, elasticity, and skin firmness, while also preventing fine lines and wrinkles.
- Hydrolyzed Oats help to relieve dry, itchy and inflamed skin. Contains natural saponins that can cleanse the skin while leaving it soft.
- Strawberry, Licorice, and Kiwi Extract can help reveal a brighter complexion, reduce redness, fade hyperpigmentation.
- Red Raspberry Seed Oil does wonders for acne-prone and uneven skin tones. It helps skin appear smooth and firm. It is also high in linoleic acid, which can help reduce breakouts. The phytosterols can help reduce trans-epidermal water loss, thereby helping to keep skin moisturized.
We also created our Postpartum Care Packages to remind mothers that it’s okay to prioritize themselves during this time.
Made to WOW her and help her feel loved:
- Products made with Mother Nature’s Actives safe for nursing
- Gorgeous frosted glass bottles because she deserves the best
- Incredible scents that will transport her to her own Lavender Meadow
The loving, personalized message you can add to each box is the cherry on top. Just see what some people are sharing on their boxes:
"Wife, in the beautiful postpartum chaos your strength shines. Watching you care for our little one fills my heart with awe. You're a remarkable mother, and I'm endlessly grateful for the family we are building. I love you more than words can say.”
"To our precious daughter, we hope you can find some moments to relax and enjoy finding your way into motherhood. One of life's most precious gifts. And remember, when it seems all eyes are on your lil one, we loved you first. Love mom and dad.”
"To mom, thank you for carrying me inside you all these months. Thank you for bringing me into this world. Thank you for being the best mom I could ask for. Love, Baby Olive.”
Take a peek at our Postpartum Care Packages and see how you can brighten a new mom’s day and help make this new transition a little easier and aid in recovery! You can choose a box, add a thoughtful message and send it her way to make her feel loved and cared for!
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