Why You Need to Let Go of Expectations for Yourself
Before I started this business I constantly felt the need to prove myself to others.
As a new mom, I felt the need to prove that I could raise my child to be smart and well behaved.
As the Marketing Director for a nursing home during COVID, I felt immense pressure to defy all odds and to fill the building with patients so that my coworkers did not have to cut their hours.
As a daughter, I wanted to show my parents that I could be successful and independent.
As an active member of my church, I felt that I needed to maintain high standards at all times.
I wish that I knew then what I know now…You do not have to prove yourself to anyone and your self worth is not determined by others, but it is determined by you and how you value yourself.
When I finally understood this I felt confident enough to start a business, to raise my child in the way that he needed to be raised, to measure success based on my level of happiness, and to learn that God would take me as I am and show me the way.
As mom’s we tend to put high expectations on ourselves, and our self-care is always an afterthought. You take care of your family and those around you day-in and day-out, leaving little time to fill your cup. That’s why I created Lavender Meadows Co., to make sure that Mommas are taken care of as well. I carefully formulated premium skincare to meet the needs of a mom. I made skincare for hormonal acne, to treat acne that comes up during pregnancy and postpartum. It is also safe skincare when pregnant, and safe skincare when breastfeeding, because I know you want to do all you can to use products that are safe for your baby.
If you can relate to any of this, I challenge you to let go of the high expectations you have set for yourself, and allow yourself to have some self time to focus on you.
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First pregnancies can be scary and the fear of birth paralyzing.
Instead of taking action, you’re overwhelmed. You can only hope that your healthcare provider will make the best decisions for you.
I wish I’d been better prepared but I didn’t know what I didn’t know. I felt like birth was just one of those miserable experiences women have to push through and endure.
Now that I’m in my third trimester expecting my second baby, I’m choosing to embrace birth with intention.
What I’m doing differently this time around:
Choosing a Natural Birth:
This felt scary at first, but I want a redemptive and peaceful birth. One where I have the autonomy to move my body into positions that support my baby’s efforts to enter the world.
Embracing Knowledge:
Instead of letting fear take over, I’m absorbing as much information as possible. I’ve consulted with my midwife to craft my ideal birth plan. I’m also watching birth videos to get more comfortable with the experience.
Chiropractic Care:
I’m seeing a chiropractor to help me align my hips and back to help make the birth experience be more comfortable. I made sure to look for a chiropractor who is certified in the Webster technique to help ensure my baby is in optimal position for labor.
Pelvic Floor Specialist:
My pelvic floor specialist and I are preparing my body for birth. We’re doing exercises to learn how to relax certain muscles during delivery, strengthen my pelvic floor, and improve my postpartum recovery.
Postpartum Skin Care Products:
This time I’m not using the postpartum skin care products provided by the hospital. I didn’t know better the first time. I didn’t realize how many questionable ingredients were in those products that did nothing to support my healing process. Instead, I’ll be using my own products like the Boob Balm, Herbal Relief Body Mist, Lavender Soaking Salts, and Revitalize Postpartum Cream which I believe are the best postpartum skincare products. All of them can be found in my Postpartum Care Package.
Perineal Massage:
I combine the stretching technique with the Baby Cheeks Barrier Oil to reduce my chances of tearing. The oils help the skin to become more elastic and the stretching helps the skin become more flexible. It also teaches you to release tension during intensity and allow your body to expand.
Strength Workouts:
I’m incorporating strength workouts to reduce the aches and pains I felt during my first pregnancy. By working out at least twice a week I have almost completely eliminated back pain, sciatic pain, and abdominal pinching. I have been doing the Bodi Barre Prenatal workouts and absolutely love them!!
Comfort Measures:
I’m taking courses to have a variety of comforting techniques to use during birth—from the Bradley Method to Christian Hypnobirthing to reduce fear and allow oxytocin to flow during labor.
Belly Care:
Pregnancy hormones like Relaxin cause the skin to be less firm and often lead to stretch marks and cellulite. I have been strengthening my skin’s elasticity throughout pregnancy with our postpartum belly cream: the Revitalize Postpartum Cream. It contains Lupin extract that produces type I Collagen and increases skin elasticity and firmness. I have no stretch marks. The cellulite on my legs that I had at the beginning of my pregnancy has all but disappeared.
Strengthening My Faith:
Even though I’m doing everything in my power to prepare my body and mind for birth, there is still a whisper of fear in me. I’m strengthening my connection with God to replace that fear with faith. Believing in the knowledge that I was built for birth and that I can trust in Him for strength.
Preparing and planning for birth has felt like an extra full-time job. But, I feel so excited.
I hope this empowers you to decide and take charge of your baby’s birth and motherhood journey.
I'd love to hear what you've been doing to prepare for your birth? Comment below!
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